X Factor Eliminations

It's time for a live show...finally. The set is exactly like American Idol. Sigh.

Astro--First of all, Astro is a stupid name, and this kid acts like he's 25 years old but he's not. He's very fake to me for some reason. Then he comes out and does some Kriss Kross and is freaking awesome. He was definitely not wiggety wiggety wack. I'm still not calling him Astro.

Chris the Drug Addict - This guy only wears dumb hats. I have no idea what he's singing but it sounds terrible. Jen thinks so too. He was really impressive his first time on the show, but it's gotta end for him here. Plus, he tried to rap right after Brian Bradley (who is not named Astro) and it fell short. The high notes were awful. He just threw it away. Back to picking up trash for Chris.

Phillip Lomax -- I hate this fraud. There are a million Sinatra singalikes, why does he get to be on a TV show? I'm A Believer? And who are these other two guys in plaid suitjackets? I think I like Smash Mouth's version better. But at least he didn't do Sinatra.

Marcus -- I love this guy. He's my favorite out of the boys category. What a great song choice-Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. The bar has been set by David, Rosanna and Patricia Arquette's brother/sister in The Wedding Singer. This guy is the real deal. Seems very current but not lame. He was clearly the best of the 4.

Boy that should go home -- Phillip. LA sends home--Phillip. I'm always right.

Groups--first off, this whole group thing is stupid. There were 5 or 6 solos that were better than every group. Oh well, them's the breaks.

Stereo Hoggz -- Has anyone noticed that the other 4 don't sing in this group? Genius. Another genius move is their dancing. They really choreograph their stuff and put a lot of time into it. The rapping does nothing for me.

Big Hair Brothers - I don't know what to make of these two. They're going to need to impress me. They start with a personal favorite- Rich Girl by Hall and Oates. There's a reason they're the most successful duo in music history. Wait a second--they just went to another favorite--George Michael!! These guys knew I was skeptical and they're making all the right moves. Except their singing isn't that great. Regardless of what happens, they got a bunch of cute groupies surrounding them, what more could two adolescent boys want?

The Leftover Group--Their version of the Ting Tings' "That's Not My Name" was awesome, how can they top that? Well it's not by singing while playing on a playground. It's all way too High School Musical for me. Was that little rap the rap from Red Red Wine by UB40? Maybe the kids like this kind of music, it wasn't for me.

Lakoda Rayne (the other Leftover Group) - That first girl can really sing. They really harmonized well, very impressive. Dexy is jealous. The Midnight Runners are too busy dancing around wearing overalls to care. Easily the best group.

Group that should go home -- Brothers. Paula sends home -- Brothers.  I'm two for two, and there remains no reason that I should not be a judge.

Old People Time! I'm going to be biased and prefer the old people. Sorry kids.

(Pretending to be) Homeless Dexter - Should I know this first part of the song? It's just not right for him, all the way down to the Freddy Mercury mike stand. I don't even know what to say.

Old Man Leroy -- I love this guy. He's 60 years old, did you know that? They haven't mentioned that yet. He's like the black, cool Michael Bolton. I don't know this song, but he will get through because he's not a clinically insane pseudo-homeless person.

Stacy the Single Mother with the Runny Mascara - What will she overdo this week? Oh lord, she did not just pick the single greatest recorded vocal in history did she? No one will ever ever ever top George Michael's One More Try. Don't even try it, old lady. She's better than Dexter, don't get me wrong here, but this is not acceptable. At least try Father Figure or something where you have a chance.

Vneck Joe Cocker - He's going to get his own line of vnecks and unbuttoned shirts. I think he's singing words from the Bible, not sure here. We'll have to listen for "It Was Good" or "Jesus Wept" to be sure. Nice interpretive dance behind him, always a crowd pleaser. I actually really like this guy, this arrangement was ridiculous. Again, he's not Dexter.

Old Person to go home -- Dexter (surprise!)  Nicole picks -- Dexter. I'm 3 for 3. Also, Steve the Annoying Welshman is really annoying with his telling everyone they can't speak because of time. Sad when you long for Seacrest.

Simone--this girl doesn't belong. Period. This is embarrasing. Like a really bad 80s pop song by Pebbles or someone like that.

Rachel--It doesn't matter what she sings here, she's through. How about a Justin Bieber/Supremes mashup while dressed like Lyle Lovett? Yep, that works for me. She's like the second coming of Raven Symone (not in the Nickelodeon years, but when she joined the Cosby Show as Olivia and completely stole the show from Rudy).

Drew - Is it ok for a 14 year old to sing a song about an ironworker making money on the side as a stripper? Not sure about the slow arrangement. She can sing though.

Tiah -- What in the F? This is the scariest song ever. And I thought Annie Lennox was creepy back in the 80s. She's giving Marilyn Manson a run for his money even. That was intense.

Melanie -- I Have Nothing. Yep, this is the stuff. This girl is guaranteed to be a huge star. Until she hit that note on the word "close". But hey, we all screw up here and there. Maybe a bit too high for her but man she can sing.

Simon should send home - Simone and Tiah.  Simon sends home - Simone and Tiah. America, you don't need judges when you have me.

X Factor -- Final Boot Camp

More wastes of our time, then they reveal the final contestants. I just love that little girl with the curly hair that is totally adorable and then sings with a little attitude. She better win, because she's the cutest little girl reality singing competitions have ever seen. I really have nothing more to say. Things better get better next week. I will not be able to watch next week by the way, so expect a hiatus.

X Factor Boot Camp

That was a dud of a show. 90 minutes of wasting my time. The people we already knew were good were still good, and the people who we knew looked like Prince but minus the talent still look like Prince minus the talent. This show better kick it into high gear and soon.

Sing Off -- New Songs and Radio Classics

Nick Lachey's got an extra shirt button unbuttoned this week, so this ought to be a good one.

The Mormons -- Never Say Never. Justin Bieber is a talentless clown. This song is so bad, these nice young men just have no chance.

Delilah -- What Do You Want From Me?  Speaking of clowns, but this time one with some talent. For those of you who don't know, I can sum up my feelings towards Adam Lambert like this: He's the Derek Jeter of music, in that he's completely overrated. Those girls did a great job though. The one girl Ingrid reminds me of Libby from Lost, and she scares me. I love the voice of the brunette lead vocalist, she's awesome. These girls have to win don't they? Great job!

Urban Method--some Black Eyed Peas song.  I was really impressed by the girl's voice. The singing part was really really good. And then the rapping happened again. Look, I just don't get it. If it's not about things that make you go hmmm, it's not for me in the rap world. I also don't like how the rapper kid gets so much love from the judges, the two singers were much better in my opinion.

Afro Blue -- American Boy.  Hey, another song I don't know! That was pretty neat, it was all jazzy. It's not for everyone but I really liked how intricate it was. Jen thought it was a lot like the Cosby Show theme, minus the sweaters and Rudy.

Yellow Jackets -- Dy no Mite! Meh. I thought the choreography was good. That song sucks. The little boy who sounds like a girl was a little weird. Would rather have listened to Jimmy JJ Walker saying "Dy-No-Mite!" over and over again than listen to this.

Kinfolk 9 - Another song I don't know! Everybody look to the left, I guess. Why can't music be about something anymore? I mean even the Crash Test Dummies had a song about a boy whose parents made him come directly home right after school. I continue to not buy for a second that the lead singer Moi guy doesn't have enough money to live on his own, his hair and clothes are too good. I thought the Asian Assistant District Attorney Connie Rubirosa from Law and Order did a great job singing. Something overall just felt a little thin about it.

Nick buttons his shirt back up for the 60s phase of the show.

Delilah -- Heat Wave  This worked on so many levels, except when I see a girl with a shaved head singing an innocent song from the 60s. I really liked the backup parts, really good. Do you think they named themselves after the horrible syndicated radio show of the same name? I hate that woman. "Delilah, I met a man I fell in love with 25 years ago on a cruise and I've never seen him since. Can you please play "How Do I Live Without You" by Leann Rimes?" Barf.

Urban Method -- Dance 2 The Music   What a great choice for an a cappela group! So many different parts! Until that guy "played guitar", which sounded like a guy playing a wax paper on a comb. I feel like they could have done more, but not bad at all. My favorite part was that there was no rapping.

Vocal Point: The Way You Look Tonight.  Good Lord, they ruined that song. I hated everything about it, from the conga line to the train to the kicks. Hated it. The judges really liked it, I don't get it.

AfroBlue -- Heard It Through The Grapevine.   This jazzy little group is growing on me--I loved this. The lead guy was really strong, the jazzy end part was cool. Jen has remarked at least 5 times about the girls in every group having eyelashes that are wayyy too long. For shame! Is their bass guy the son of Rerun from What's Happening? Where's Raj?

Yellow Jackets -- Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You   That was a really cool horn section thing they led off with. The lead singer kid just doesn't sell it enough to me. I don't believe he could love anyone. He's too prim and proper. Creepy is more like it, especially that last look he gave Sara. I did really like the "I love you baby" middle part, sounded great.

Kinfolk 9 - Let It Be   What the hell happened in the middle when Moi got all high? He was way over the top. Didn't feel like a group, felt like Moi and Boys. Go home.


Kinfolk 9's gotta go, right? And the judges pick Kinfolk 9 to go home. They got it right. Never doubt Ben Folds' wisdom.