X Factor Eliminations

It's time for a live show...finally. The set is exactly like American Idol. Sigh.

Astro--First of all, Astro is a stupid name, and this kid acts like he's 25 years old but he's not. He's very fake to me for some reason. Then he comes out and does some Kriss Kross and is freaking awesome. He was definitely not wiggety wiggety wack. I'm still not calling him Astro.

Chris the Drug Addict - This guy only wears dumb hats. I have no idea what he's singing but it sounds terrible. Jen thinks so too. He was really impressive his first time on the show, but it's gotta end for him here. Plus, he tried to rap right after Brian Bradley (who is not named Astro) and it fell short. The high notes were awful. He just threw it away. Back to picking up trash for Chris.

Phillip Lomax -- I hate this fraud. There are a million Sinatra singalikes, why does he get to be on a TV show? I'm A Believer? And who are these other two guys in plaid suitjackets? I think I like Smash Mouth's version better. But at least he didn't do Sinatra.

Marcus -- I love this guy. He's my favorite out of the boys category. What a great song choice-Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. The bar has been set by David, Rosanna and Patricia Arquette's brother/sister in The Wedding Singer. This guy is the real deal. Seems very current but not lame. He was clearly the best of the 4.

Boy that should go home -- Phillip. LA sends home--Phillip. I'm always right.

Groups--first off, this whole group thing is stupid. There were 5 or 6 solos that were better than every group. Oh well, them's the breaks.

Stereo Hoggz -- Has anyone noticed that the other 4 don't sing in this group? Genius. Another genius move is their dancing. They really choreograph their stuff and put a lot of time into it. The rapping does nothing for me.

Big Hair Brothers - I don't know what to make of these two. They're going to need to impress me. They start with a personal favorite- Rich Girl by Hall and Oates. There's a reason they're the most successful duo in music history. Wait a second--they just went to another favorite--George Michael!! These guys knew I was skeptical and they're making all the right moves. Except their singing isn't that great. Regardless of what happens, they got a bunch of cute groupies surrounding them, what more could two adolescent boys want?

The Leftover Group--Their version of the Ting Tings' "That's Not My Name" was awesome, how can they top that? Well it's not by singing while playing on a playground. It's all way too High School Musical for me. Was that little rap the rap from Red Red Wine by UB40? Maybe the kids like this kind of music, it wasn't for me.

Lakoda Rayne (the other Leftover Group) - That first girl can really sing. They really harmonized well, very impressive. Dexy is jealous. The Midnight Runners are too busy dancing around wearing overalls to care. Easily the best group.

Group that should go home -- Brothers. Paula sends home -- Brothers.  I'm two for two, and there remains no reason that I should not be a judge.

Old People Time! I'm going to be biased and prefer the old people. Sorry kids.

(Pretending to be) Homeless Dexter - Should I know this first part of the song? It's just not right for him, all the way down to the Freddy Mercury mike stand. I don't even know what to say.

Old Man Leroy -- I love this guy. He's 60 years old, did you know that? They haven't mentioned that yet. He's like the black, cool Michael Bolton. I don't know this song, but he will get through because he's not a clinically insane pseudo-homeless person.

Stacy the Single Mother with the Runny Mascara - What will she overdo this week? Oh lord, she did not just pick the single greatest recorded vocal in history did she? No one will ever ever ever top George Michael's One More Try. Don't even try it, old lady. She's better than Dexter, don't get me wrong here, but this is not acceptable. At least try Father Figure or something where you have a chance.

Vneck Joe Cocker - He's going to get his own line of vnecks and unbuttoned shirts. I think he's singing words from the Bible, not sure here. We'll have to listen for "It Was Good" or "Jesus Wept" to be sure. Nice interpretive dance behind him, always a crowd pleaser. I actually really like this guy, this arrangement was ridiculous. Again, he's not Dexter.

Old Person to go home -- Dexter (surprise!)  Nicole picks -- Dexter. I'm 3 for 3. Also, Steve the Annoying Welshman is really annoying with his telling everyone they can't speak because of time. Sad when you long for Seacrest.

Simone--this girl doesn't belong. Period. This is embarrasing. Like a really bad 80s pop song by Pebbles or someone like that.

Rachel--It doesn't matter what she sings here, she's through. How about a Justin Bieber/Supremes mashup while dressed like Lyle Lovett? Yep, that works for me. She's like the second coming of Raven Symone (not in the Nickelodeon years, but when she joined the Cosby Show as Olivia and completely stole the show from Rudy).

Drew - Is it ok for a 14 year old to sing a song about an ironworker making money on the side as a stripper? Not sure about the slow arrangement. She can sing though.

Tiah -- What in the F? This is the scariest song ever. And I thought Annie Lennox was creepy back in the 80s. She's giving Marilyn Manson a run for his money even. That was intense.

Melanie -- I Have Nothing. Yep, this is the stuff. This girl is guaranteed to be a huge star. Until she hit that note on the word "close". But hey, we all screw up here and there. Maybe a bit too high for her but man she can sing.

Simon should send home - Simone and Tiah.  Simon sends home - Simone and Tiah. America, you don't need judges when you have me.