Michael Jackson's kids creep me out. I'm very disturbed by the fact that Paris is a cute girl. Blanket freaks me out, he looks like a child raised in the jungle and rescued and then raised by a freaky white guy with a jeri curl.
Vneck does Dirty Diana, a personal fave. I didn't like the arrangement, I like the sparseness of the instrumentation of the original, really showcases Michael Jackson's voice. This was fine, and then he played the guitar and I was blown away. Nice work.
Brian Bradley -- it's getting old. He raps too fast for my taste. Predictable song choice. I think Simon said Black or White is one of the best pop songs of all time? Um, what? I can name 10 songs just by MJ that I like better. Plus, I can't believe no one is singing the Free Willy song tonight by the way, that's a singing contest staple.
Drew -- I've heard this one before, it was David Cook. Boring.
Rachel - Some song I don't know. Poor song choice, could hurt her. Come on, MJ songs were made for 13 year old girls! Any Jackson 5 song would have worked.
Marcus -- PYT, that's a great song! He did sound a little weird, but that dude is a showman.
Trashman Addict -- I guess that was OK. I couldn't stop looking at his letter jacket, which was bedazzled.
Melanie -- This contest is over. She looked great, she sounded even better. That song sucked and she was still awesome. Winner winner chicken dinner.
The two that should go home are Asstro and I guess Trashman or Drew, I'll go with Drew.
Results show -- British rappers are hilarious. I got to freestyle about fish and chips and gov'nahs and pubs while waiting for him to actually rap. Then I rapped "Girls" by the Beastie Boys with a British accent, the wife loved it (I think). I think I was pretty good, wink wink, nudge, nudge, eh guvnah?
And Asstro is gone! Thank the Lord. Did you notice that LA is the same height as a 12 year old boy?
It's down to Marcus vs. Drew. Doesn't really matter to me. Drew is Carly Simon's daughter, I'm pretty sure. Carly Jr. sings some Roxette, a personal favorite of mine (I really like Swedish duos). She depresses my wife. She hits weird notes, maybe would sound better if she had a bleach blonde spike like the Roxette chick. Now for Marcus--he's pleading for sympathy to start out with, then he goes into some R&B song I can't tell what it is. He's way better than Drew. Period.
The judges destroy the hopes of a little girl. See you next week for another smashing of someone's dreams!
Thursday, December 1, 2011
Friday, November 18, 2011
X Factor Final 10
First a word about the elimination process. On the one hand, it's closer to being a good process than Idol. At least it's not completely up to 13 year old girls. However, they do it completely wrong after the final 2 are eliminated. Case in point last week when the bottom two were both Paula's groups. Paula should go last in that case, that way she doesn't have to be responsible for kicking off her own team. Of course, she's an idiot and almost accidentally kicked off the Stereo Hoggz by abstaining, but it worked out in the end. Frankly, the judges have got it right each week, including this week. I still think the way to do this is to have America vote for their least favorite though. Quick rundown of this week:
Black Bolton -- solid. Solid as a rock.
Rachel - Who picks Satisfaction on a singing contest? Very Disney though, she did fine.
Trashman -- Resisting urge to make joke about rock cocaine on rock night. Bob Marley song was ok but it was messy or jumbled or something.
Mascara--horrible Meatloaf song, sung terribly. Buh-bye.
Melanie--Gospel tweak of Everybody Hurts, really showed off her singing. Not my favorite ever, but good.
Vneck - Foo Fighters song, but I didn't recognize it until halfway in. This was really weird, but apparently he was the only one who got the message it was rock night.
Brian Bradley--not fair to have a rapper during rock week, he did the only song he could have done.
Leftovers--Starting out with Your Love (great song by the way), interesting that the girl group didn't sing it high enough. It just wasn't right. I did like the transition into Go Your Own Way. Nice giant bow for the one chick.
Drew--Her voice is weird, but this was pretty good.
Marcus--this was all over the place. Only women should sing this song.
Top 3 -- Melanie, Bolton, and I guess Drew.
Who should go home -- Mascara by a longshot
Who will go home -- Mascara. 13 year old girls don't vote for their grandma.
Elim note: WTF happened with lil' Brian acting like a baby? I hate that f'ing kid. He's gone next week no matter what so who cares. The producers need to turn off the audience, I can't even bear to listen to the judges with all the screaming in the background. I just listen to the songs and fast forward. Can't wait until I have my own 13 year old girl that I can take to boy band concerts and experience that firsthand. Blech.
Black Bolton -- solid. Solid as a rock.
Rachel - Who picks Satisfaction on a singing contest? Very Disney though, she did fine.
Trashman -- Resisting urge to make joke about rock cocaine on rock night. Bob Marley song was ok but it was messy or jumbled or something.
Mascara--horrible Meatloaf song, sung terribly. Buh-bye.
Melanie--Gospel tweak of Everybody Hurts, really showed off her singing. Not my favorite ever, but good.
Vneck - Foo Fighters song, but I didn't recognize it until halfway in. This was really weird, but apparently he was the only one who got the message it was rock night.
Brian Bradley--not fair to have a rapper during rock week, he did the only song he could have done.
Leftovers--Starting out with Your Love (great song by the way), interesting that the girl group didn't sing it high enough. It just wasn't right. I did like the transition into Go Your Own Way. Nice giant bow for the one chick.
Drew--Her voice is weird, but this was pretty good.
Marcus--this was all over the place. Only women should sing this song.
Top 3 -- Melanie, Bolton, and I guess Drew.
Who should go home -- Mascara by a longshot
Who will go home -- Mascara. 13 year old girls don't vote for their grandma.
Elim note: WTF happened with lil' Brian acting like a baby? I hate that f'ing kid. He's gone next week no matter what so who cares. The producers need to turn off the audience, I can't even bear to listen to the judges with all the screaming in the background. I just listen to the songs and fast forward. Can't wait until I have my own 13 year old girl that I can take to boy band concerts and experience that firsthand. Blech.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
X Factor Final 11
Runny Mascara Lady -- Queen of the Night. She's looking old this week. Older I guess. She has a gigantic forehead. Did she have a facelift or a nosejob during the week? I'm all for honoring Michael Jackson but this is ridiculous. But hey, LA Reid knows how to write a song.
Marcus -- I'm Going Down. Nice move kicking the mike stand. Followed by an awkward jacket removal. However, this dude can sing. I think he could totally play Otis Day in a remake of Animal House.
Carly Simon's granddaughter -- Fix You Did her mom make that dress out of random scarves? I think she sounded way too much like every new girl artist out there today. Boring. Of course, so is Coldplay.
She designed that dress? What? How does a person get a dress made that they designed? I thought that was the stuff that only Mallory Keaton could do. And enter the annoying Welshman to tell everyone they're going long.
Old Black Michael Bolton -- I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. I would have guessed his favorite band was the OJays or the ChiLites or something, not U2. Hard to fault him though. We live next door to a dog named Bono and my younger boy is constantly confused when I tell him Bono is singing on the radio. "Dogs sing like this...Woof Woof. This isn't Bono". Hilarious. I like this guy so much. Nice job.
Aside--I cannot stand the constant screaming from the audience. Very very very annoying.
Leftovers -- what the heck is Lakoda Rayne anyway? Is that like Alice Cooper or Lynard Skynard? They're singing some dumb country song. I know, that doesn't narrow it down. These ladies sing so well together, they could totally have a career together if they decide to stick together. Also, this song is from the absolute worst movie ever made. How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days couldn't have been any worse.
Brian Bradley -- 8 Mile song. First off, it's not an 80's song, so it's not as good. Secondly,how is rapping someone else's song proving anything? I'm done with little Brian. If he's not going to rap about an Around The Way Girl or Now That We've Found Love (RIP Heavy D) I don't want to hear it. By the way, I wrote that before he said "Rest In Peace Heavy D". He's even ripping me off.
Melanie -- Man In The Mirror. Hang on, this isn't in a movie! Maybe they're counting that Immortal movie? I'm calling BS on this...except she's so awesome. Imagine what she'd sound like if she wasn't sick. Did she mean to sing the Free Willy song and then accidentally sung this?
One singer and 4 other guys -- these guys are going home. End of story.
Vneck Joe Cocker -- Doing Joe Cocker this week? Perfect! But wait...it's not You Can Leave Your Hat On? Lame. This is just predictable. I don't like the way he sang it--he sounded fine, but he sang weird notes. And of course, he doesn't try to hit the high note and looks like a fat Tim Curry more than anything. At least he's not the Stereo Hoggz.
Trashman Addict -- Gangsta's Paradise. I like his rapping way better than Brian Bradley. Wrote the whole rapping part himself it seems, and he can sing the singing part too, which is something that most rappers can't do. Double threat. Nice job Trashman.
Raven Symone Jr. -- I have no idea what that song was, but it was amazing. That girl should just take the title home right now. She's only 13! I can't believe how good she is. Just a natural.
Top 3 - Raven, Raven, Raven.
Who should go home -- Stereo Hoggz
Who will go home -- Stereo Hoggz
Marcus -- I'm Going Down. Nice move kicking the mike stand. Followed by an awkward jacket removal. However, this dude can sing. I think he could totally play Otis Day in a remake of Animal House.
Carly Simon's granddaughter -- Fix You Did her mom make that dress out of random scarves? I think she sounded way too much like every new girl artist out there today. Boring. Of course, so is Coldplay.
She designed that dress? What? How does a person get a dress made that they designed? I thought that was the stuff that only Mallory Keaton could do. And enter the annoying Welshman to tell everyone they're going long.
Old Black Michael Bolton -- I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. I would have guessed his favorite band was the OJays or the ChiLites or something, not U2. Hard to fault him though. We live next door to a dog named Bono and my younger boy is constantly confused when I tell him Bono is singing on the radio. "Dogs sing like this...Woof Woof. This isn't Bono". Hilarious. I like this guy so much. Nice job.
Aside--I cannot stand the constant screaming from the audience. Very very very annoying.
Leftovers -- what the heck is Lakoda Rayne anyway? Is that like Alice Cooper or Lynard Skynard? They're singing some dumb country song. I know, that doesn't narrow it down. These ladies sing so well together, they could totally have a career together if they decide to stick together. Also, this song is from the absolute worst movie ever made. How to Lose a Girl in 10 Days couldn't have been any worse.
Brian Bradley -- 8 Mile song. First off, it's not an 80's song, so it's not as good. Secondly,how is rapping someone else's song proving anything? I'm done with little Brian. If he's not going to rap about an Around The Way Girl or Now That We've Found Love (RIP Heavy D) I don't want to hear it. By the way, I wrote that before he said "Rest In Peace Heavy D". He's even ripping me off.
Melanie -- Man In The Mirror. Hang on, this isn't in a movie! Maybe they're counting that Immortal movie? I'm calling BS on this...except she's so awesome. Imagine what she'd sound like if she wasn't sick. Did she mean to sing the Free Willy song and then accidentally sung this?
One singer and 4 other guys -- these guys are going home. End of story.
Vneck Joe Cocker -- Doing Joe Cocker this week? Perfect! But wait...it's not You Can Leave Your Hat On? Lame. This is just predictable. I don't like the way he sang it--he sounded fine, but he sang weird notes. And of course, he doesn't try to hit the high note and looks like a fat Tim Curry more than anything. At least he's not the Stereo Hoggz.
Trashman Addict -- Gangsta's Paradise. I like his rapping way better than Brian Bradley. Wrote the whole rapping part himself it seems, and he can sing the singing part too, which is something that most rappers can't do. Double threat. Nice job Trashman.
Raven Symone Jr. -- I have no idea what that song was, but it was amazing. That girl should just take the title home right now. She's only 13! I can't believe how good she is. Just a natural.
Top 3 - Raven, Raven, Raven.
Who should go home -- Stereo Hoggz
Who will go home -- Stereo Hoggz
Thursday, November 3, 2011
X Factor Top 12
Stereo Hoggz -- Rhythm Nation These guys are worthless. I didn't even like the lead singer this week. The other guys do nothing other than have names like Trae Badd. Maybe he's related to Color Me. The judges have all come down with Adam Lambert disease where they all think these guys are the second coming when really they aren't much at all.
The Addict Trashman - Don't You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me Baby -- Well, it's a much more fun arrangement than normal, but was that song too high for him? It didn't sound right. The fire was a bit over the top, didn't even match the song. Kudos to the guy for cleaning up, but I'm just not that into him. And somebody tell that punning Welshman to shut up.
Old Black Michael Bolton - I'm Already There. He sings so softly. Apparently he was nominated for a Grammy or two back in the 70s, can anyone confirm that? Pretty cool. He's got such a great voice and he's likable and has cool glasses, what more do we need? Maybe lose the ascot, he's not Fred from Scooby Doo.
OMG! 770 tweets per minute! Wait, I don't care. I'm old.
Adorable Rachel -- Is this some weird version of Walkin on Sunshine? Or is this some current hit? Maybe she's so young she thinks it's "You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine" and is confused. I think the audio mix is off as the music is really loud. She's so fun. Maybe not the best ever, but she deserves to make it through.
Hot Leftovers -- Landslide. Boy it is windy in that theater! Tell you what, when they sing together, it's like butter. Landslide is one of the best songs you can pick on shows like this. Just wonderful. Also, LA Reid is on drugs--everything he said was wrong. They were great.
Vneck Joe Cocker -- The dry ice machine is in full effect. I have no idea what he's singing. He looks like an extra from a Pearl Jam video or something. Plus, no signature V-neck. How can you brand yourself with such inconsistencies? He's good though, just a terrible song choice. Have you noticed how the percentage of finalists that are actually good is way higher than on Idol? Well done judges.
Melanie - Desperado. Another great choice for shows like this is anything by Don Henley. That guy's a got a weirdly high gravelly voice, but man can he sing. Knows how to write a song too. This girl is just a natural. This contest is going to get rough once they kick off the crappy groups, some really good people are not going to make it.
Brian Bradley - Hip Hop Hooray. Do kids these days think this song is an "oldie"? This kid is actually really good, I mean he's no Treach but he's doing the song justice. He's got a great angle, it's hard not to like old school rap. If he does Jump Around or Slam or Funky Cold Medina or Things That Make You Go Hmm next week, he's golden.
Kid Leftovers -- Kids In America Great choice for a bunch of kids...in America. These kids could go on tour right now and make tons of money. Or become a fixture at Disneyworld or something. Until the drugs are introduced, or the many many different intraband romances begin, and the whole thing unravels. Until then though, fun kid group. Like Menudo.
Drew - All I hear is mumbling. Is it my TV? She is dressed in what I assume my future 4 year old daughter will wear every day. Apparently that's fashionable. Maybe boys will wear Superman costumes in everyday life too. This wasn't that great, but maybe it was the song, which clearly sucked.
Marcus -- Every Little Step. Remember when R&B pop songs were fun and great? This is a prime example,and LA wrote it--Babyface and LA could not be stopped back in the day. By the way, find Wayne Brady's version of this on the internet, Mike Tyson is one of the backup dancers and they re-enact this video, including the suspenders and bike shorts. Maybe next week he can sing the theme song from Ghostbusters 2, "Control". And then marry a crazy woman.
Old Lady with Runny Mascara - So does she want to be a church singer or not? Cuz she says she doesn't, yet there she is with a choir and a song about a mountain. She is too over the top for me. I guess she was good, but over the top.
Top 3 - Melanie and the two Leftovers
Bottom 3 - Stereo Hoggz, Trashman, and I guess Drew?
Who Should Go Home - Stereo Hoggz
Who Will Go Home -- Old Bolton
The Addict Trashman - Don't You Remember You Told Me You Loved Me Baby -- Well, it's a much more fun arrangement than normal, but was that song too high for him? It didn't sound right. The fire was a bit over the top, didn't even match the song. Kudos to the guy for cleaning up, but I'm just not that into him. And somebody tell that punning Welshman to shut up.
Old Black Michael Bolton - I'm Already There. He sings so softly. Apparently he was nominated for a Grammy or two back in the 70s, can anyone confirm that? Pretty cool. He's got such a great voice and he's likable and has cool glasses, what more do we need? Maybe lose the ascot, he's not Fred from Scooby Doo.
OMG! 770 tweets per minute! Wait, I don't care. I'm old.
Adorable Rachel -- Is this some weird version of Walkin on Sunshine? Or is this some current hit? Maybe she's so young she thinks it's "You Are My Sunshine, My Only Sunshine" and is confused. I think the audio mix is off as the music is really loud. She's so fun. Maybe not the best ever, but she deserves to make it through.
Hot Leftovers -- Landslide. Boy it is windy in that theater! Tell you what, when they sing together, it's like butter. Landslide is one of the best songs you can pick on shows like this. Just wonderful. Also, LA Reid is on drugs--everything he said was wrong. They were great.
Vneck Joe Cocker -- The dry ice machine is in full effect. I have no idea what he's singing. He looks like an extra from a Pearl Jam video or something. Plus, no signature V-neck. How can you brand yourself with such inconsistencies? He's good though, just a terrible song choice. Have you noticed how the percentage of finalists that are actually good is way higher than on Idol? Well done judges.
Melanie - Desperado. Another great choice for shows like this is anything by Don Henley. That guy's a got a weirdly high gravelly voice, but man can he sing. Knows how to write a song too. This girl is just a natural. This contest is going to get rough once they kick off the crappy groups, some really good people are not going to make it.
Brian Bradley - Hip Hop Hooray. Do kids these days think this song is an "oldie"? This kid is actually really good, I mean he's no Treach but he's doing the song justice. He's got a great angle, it's hard not to like old school rap. If he does Jump Around or Slam or Funky Cold Medina or Things That Make You Go Hmm next week, he's golden.
Kid Leftovers -- Kids In America Great choice for a bunch of kids...in America. These kids could go on tour right now and make tons of money. Or become a fixture at Disneyworld or something. Until the drugs are introduced, or the many many different intraband romances begin, and the whole thing unravels. Until then though, fun kid group. Like Menudo.
Drew - All I hear is mumbling. Is it my TV? She is dressed in what I assume my future 4 year old daughter will wear every day. Apparently that's fashionable. Maybe boys will wear Superman costumes in everyday life too. This wasn't that great, but maybe it was the song, which clearly sucked.
Marcus -- Every Little Step. Remember when R&B pop songs were fun and great? This is a prime example,and LA wrote it--Babyface and LA could not be stopped back in the day. By the way, find Wayne Brady's version of this on the internet, Mike Tyson is one of the backup dancers and they re-enact this video, including the suspenders and bike shorts. Maybe next week he can sing the theme song from Ghostbusters 2, "Control". And then marry a crazy woman.
Old Lady with Runny Mascara - So does she want to be a church singer or not? Cuz she says she doesn't, yet there she is with a choir and a song about a mountain. She is too over the top for me. I guess she was good, but over the top.
Top 3 - Melanie and the two Leftovers
Bottom 3 - Stereo Hoggz, Trashman, and I guess Drew?
Who Should Go Home - Stereo Hoggz
Who Will Go Home -- Old Bolton
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
X Factor Eliminations
It's time for a live show...finally. The set is exactly like American Idol. Sigh.
Astro--First of all, Astro is a stupid name, and this kid acts like he's 25 years old but he's not. He's very fake to me for some reason. Then he comes out and does some Kriss Kross and is freaking awesome. He was definitely not wiggety wiggety wack. I'm still not calling him Astro.
Chris the Drug Addict - This guy only wears dumb hats. I have no idea what he's singing but it sounds terrible. Jen thinks so too. He was really impressive his first time on the show, but it's gotta end for him here. Plus, he tried to rap right after Brian Bradley (who is not named Astro) and it fell short. The high notes were awful. He just threw it away. Back to picking up trash for Chris.
Phillip Lomax -- I hate this fraud. There are a million Sinatra singalikes, why does he get to be on a TV show? I'm A Believer? And who are these other two guys in plaid suitjackets? I think I like Smash Mouth's version better. But at least he didn't do Sinatra.
Marcus -- I love this guy. He's my favorite out of the boys category. What a great song choice-Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. The bar has been set by David, Rosanna and Patricia Arquette's brother/sister in The Wedding Singer. This guy is the real deal. Seems very current but not lame. He was clearly the best of the 4.
Boy that should go home -- Phillip. LA sends home--Phillip. I'm always right.
Groups--first off, this whole group thing is stupid. There were 5 or 6 solos that were better than every group. Oh well, them's the breaks.
Stereo Hoggz -- Has anyone noticed that the other 4 don't sing in this group? Genius. Another genius move is their dancing. They really choreograph their stuff and put a lot of time into it. The rapping does nothing for me.
Big Hair Brothers - I don't know what to make of these two. They're going to need to impress me. They start with a personal favorite- Rich Girl by Hall and Oates. There's a reason they're the most successful duo in music history. Wait a second--they just went to another favorite--George Michael!! These guys knew I was skeptical and they're making all the right moves. Except their singing isn't that great. Regardless of what happens, they got a bunch of cute groupies surrounding them, what more could two adolescent boys want?
The Leftover Group--Their version of the Ting Tings' "That's Not My Name" was awesome, how can they top that? Well it's not by singing while playing on a playground. It's all way too High School Musical for me. Was that little rap the rap from Red Red Wine by UB40? Maybe the kids like this kind of music, it wasn't for me.
Lakoda Rayne (the other Leftover Group) - That first girl can really sing. They really harmonized well, very impressive. Dexy is jealous. The Midnight Runners are too busy dancing around wearing overalls to care. Easily the best group.
Group that should go home -- Brothers. Paula sends home -- Brothers. I'm two for two, and there remains no reason that I should not be a judge.
Old People Time! I'm going to be biased and prefer the old people. Sorry kids.
(Pretending to be) Homeless Dexter - Should I know this first part of the song? It's just not right for him, all the way down to the Freddy Mercury mike stand. I don't even know what to say.
Old Man Leroy -- I love this guy. He's 60 years old, did you know that? They haven't mentioned that yet. He's like the black, cool Michael Bolton. I don't know this song, but he will get through because he's not a clinically insane pseudo-homeless person.
Stacy the Single Mother with the Runny Mascara - What will she overdo this week? Oh lord, she did not just pick the single greatest recorded vocal in history did she? No one will ever ever ever top George Michael's One More Try. Don't even try it, old lady. She's better than Dexter, don't get me wrong here, but this is not acceptable. At least try Father Figure or something where you have a chance.
Vneck Joe Cocker - He's going to get his own line of vnecks and unbuttoned shirts. I think he's singing words from the Bible, not sure here. We'll have to listen for "It Was Good" or "Jesus Wept" to be sure. Nice interpretive dance behind him, always a crowd pleaser. I actually really like this guy, this arrangement was ridiculous. Again, he's not Dexter.
Old Person to go home -- Dexter (surprise!) Nicole picks -- Dexter. I'm 3 for 3. Also, Steve the Annoying Welshman is really annoying with his telling everyone they can't speak because of time. Sad when you long for Seacrest.
Simone--this girl doesn't belong. Period. This is embarrasing. Like a really bad 80s pop song by Pebbles or someone like that.
Rachel--It doesn't matter what she sings here, she's through. How about a Justin Bieber/Supremes mashup while dressed like Lyle Lovett? Yep, that works for me. She's like the second coming of Raven Symone (not in the Nickelodeon years, but when she joined the Cosby Show as Olivia and completely stole the show from Rudy).
Drew - Is it ok for a 14 year old to sing a song about an ironworker making money on the side as a stripper? Not sure about the slow arrangement. She can sing though.
Tiah -- What in the F? This is the scariest song ever. And I thought Annie Lennox was creepy back in the 80s. She's giving Marilyn Manson a run for his money even. That was intense.
Melanie -- I Have Nothing. Yep, this is the stuff. This girl is guaranteed to be a huge star. Until she hit that note on the word "close". But hey, we all screw up here and there. Maybe a bit too high for her but man she can sing.
Simon should send home - Simone and Tiah. Simon sends home - Simone and Tiah. America, you don't need judges when you have me.
Astro--First of all, Astro is a stupid name, and this kid acts like he's 25 years old but he's not. He's very fake to me for some reason. Then he comes out and does some Kriss Kross and is freaking awesome. He was definitely not wiggety wiggety wack. I'm still not calling him Astro.
Chris the Drug Addict - This guy only wears dumb hats. I have no idea what he's singing but it sounds terrible. Jen thinks so too. He was really impressive his first time on the show, but it's gotta end for him here. Plus, he tried to rap right after Brian Bradley (who is not named Astro) and it fell short. The high notes were awful. He just threw it away. Back to picking up trash for Chris.
Phillip Lomax -- I hate this fraud. There are a million Sinatra singalikes, why does he get to be on a TV show? I'm A Believer? And who are these other two guys in plaid suitjackets? I think I like Smash Mouth's version better. But at least he didn't do Sinatra.
Marcus -- I love this guy. He's my favorite out of the boys category. What a great song choice-Do You Really Want To Hurt Me by Culture Club. The bar has been set by David, Rosanna and Patricia Arquette's brother/sister in The Wedding Singer. This guy is the real deal. Seems very current but not lame. He was clearly the best of the 4.
Boy that should go home -- Phillip. LA sends home--Phillip. I'm always right.
Groups--first off, this whole group thing is stupid. There were 5 or 6 solos that were better than every group. Oh well, them's the breaks.
Stereo Hoggz -- Has anyone noticed that the other 4 don't sing in this group? Genius. Another genius move is their dancing. They really choreograph their stuff and put a lot of time into it. The rapping does nothing for me.
Big Hair Brothers - I don't know what to make of these two. They're going to need to impress me. They start with a personal favorite- Rich Girl by Hall and Oates. There's a reason they're the most successful duo in music history. Wait a second--they just went to another favorite--George Michael!! These guys knew I was skeptical and they're making all the right moves. Except their singing isn't that great. Regardless of what happens, they got a bunch of cute groupies surrounding them, what more could two adolescent boys want?
The Leftover Group--Their version of the Ting Tings' "That's Not My Name" was awesome, how can they top that? Well it's not by singing while playing on a playground. It's all way too High School Musical for me. Was that little rap the rap from Red Red Wine by UB40? Maybe the kids like this kind of music, it wasn't for me.
Lakoda Rayne (the other Leftover Group) - That first girl can really sing. They really harmonized well, very impressive. Dexy is jealous. The Midnight Runners are too busy dancing around wearing overalls to care. Easily the best group.
Group that should go home -- Brothers. Paula sends home -- Brothers. I'm two for two, and there remains no reason that I should not be a judge.
Old People Time! I'm going to be biased and prefer the old people. Sorry kids.
(Pretending to be) Homeless Dexter - Should I know this first part of the song? It's just not right for him, all the way down to the Freddy Mercury mike stand. I don't even know what to say.
Old Man Leroy -- I love this guy. He's 60 years old, did you know that? They haven't mentioned that yet. He's like the black, cool Michael Bolton. I don't know this song, but he will get through because he's not a clinically insane pseudo-homeless person.
Stacy the Single Mother with the Runny Mascara - What will she overdo this week? Oh lord, she did not just pick the single greatest recorded vocal in history did she? No one will ever ever ever top George Michael's One More Try. Don't even try it, old lady. She's better than Dexter, don't get me wrong here, but this is not acceptable. At least try Father Figure or something where you have a chance.
Vneck Joe Cocker - He's going to get his own line of vnecks and unbuttoned shirts. I think he's singing words from the Bible, not sure here. We'll have to listen for "It Was Good" or "Jesus Wept" to be sure. Nice interpretive dance behind him, always a crowd pleaser. I actually really like this guy, this arrangement was ridiculous. Again, he's not Dexter.
Old Person to go home -- Dexter (surprise!) Nicole picks -- Dexter. I'm 3 for 3. Also, Steve the Annoying Welshman is really annoying with his telling everyone they can't speak because of time. Sad when you long for Seacrest.
Simone--this girl doesn't belong. Period. This is embarrasing. Like a really bad 80s pop song by Pebbles or someone like that.
Rachel--It doesn't matter what she sings here, she's through. How about a Justin Bieber/Supremes mashup while dressed like Lyle Lovett? Yep, that works for me. She's like the second coming of Raven Symone (not in the Nickelodeon years, but when she joined the Cosby Show as Olivia and completely stole the show from Rudy).
Drew - Is it ok for a 14 year old to sing a song about an ironworker making money on the side as a stripper? Not sure about the slow arrangement. She can sing though.
Tiah -- What in the F? This is the scariest song ever. And I thought Annie Lennox was creepy back in the 80s. She's giving Marilyn Manson a run for his money even. That was intense.
Melanie -- I Have Nothing. Yep, this is the stuff. This girl is guaranteed to be a huge star. Until she hit that note on the word "close". But hey, we all screw up here and there. Maybe a bit too high for her but man she can sing.
Simon should send home - Simone and Tiah. Simon sends home - Simone and Tiah. America, you don't need judges when you have me.
Friday, October 7, 2011
X Factor -- Final Boot Camp
More wastes of our time, then they reveal the final contestants. I just love that little girl with the curly hair that is totally adorable and then sings with a little attitude. She better win, because she's the cutest little girl reality singing competitions have ever seen. I really have nothing more to say. Things better get better next week. I will not be able to watch next week by the way, so expect a hiatus.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
X Factor Boot Camp
That was a dud of a show. 90 minutes of wasting my time. The people we already knew were good were still good, and the people who we knew looked like Prince but minus the talent still look like Prince minus the talent. This show better kick it into high gear and soon.
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