X Factor Day 2 - Cheryl Cole, We Hardly Knew Ye

This first girl is on crack. Maybe she has the same dealer as Paula. Wow she is a terrible singer.

Dream Girlz--Cousin Eddie was hilarious, defending these terrible singers as if they had talent. First segment tonight was pretty lame when I'm commenting on that. Let's pick up the pace, X Factor.

GLORIA ESTEFAN!! That's how we spice things up! Come on shake your body baby do the conga! Wait, where'd you go?

These manufactured dramatic moments are tiring...so the talent has been bad, it's not like they're going to wrap up the show. Maybe Vanilla Ice can save them. Well, if they were remaking Grease with members of Depeche Mode in the lead roles, this guy would totally be Danny. Was his mom trying to hug him through the TV screen? Creepy. Congratulations Robert Van Winkle, you are the first person to make it through. (Will somebody please explain who Depeche Mode and Robert Van Winkle are to Katy? Thanks).

This ghost thing is ridiculous. Why are they doing all this crap? Don't they want people to watch? Worst of all, you can't even make fun of it, it's just lame. How will I get people to read this blog if I'm not given the opportunity to be funny. By using terms like Jessica Alba and Barack Obama and Simon Cowell, that's how.

Hey, there's Jesus!! He's sure to win right? I never would have thought Jesus like jazz songs. Maybe it's really Kenny Loggins. I don't think the judges are allowed to say no to Jesus. See you in the next round.

We've got a Ricky from My So Called Life sighting! And he says he's a soprano. Wait, no he's not, he's a liar. Where's Jordan Catalano when you need him?

Whoa, that chick who sang Listen by Beyonce was unbelievable. Almost made me forget about wasting the entirety of the first hour watching this crap.

I'm ending this now out of sheer disappointment. I'll review Dallas tomorrow night.